Let me wonder

Stops only at the platform. Some are families, single travelers, some are returning to the village for a few days off from the city. How many stories are starting today in this train compartment. The last page of someone's story may be reached here on some platform. I don't know which story I am writing. But, Lilan Express is taking me to Jaisalmer in Rajasthan. Perhaps the first letter of my story is written here!

An Indian girl was sitting in the seat right in front of me — Nidhi. She asked, 'Are you a content creator?'

'No. I would like to see Jaisalmer...,' she licked her lips when I couldn't finish speaking. Stunned, she said, 'I don't know, why do people come so far to see this mud and sand?'

He is preparing for the Indian Judicial Service Examination in Jaipur. She filled the questionnaire with a book in the train. Now she is going to her village Jaisalmer to meet her family. He doesn't know what tourists come to Jaisalmer from far and wide to see? Why do they come? 'I see so many women traveling these days, Solo,' she added curiously.

'Aren't you going around?' I asked.

Who doesn't like to travel? But, had to read. Had to get a job. Family again. You don't always have friends to travel with. So now my focus is this," he said, showing the legal book of the judicial service, "I am here from Jaipur, Jaisalmer. Jaisalmail to Jaipur.' She gestured towards the window of the train.

I felt listening to him - how simple life is! Study, work and family. And me? Why can't I stay anywhere!

I saw my life in a series of flashbacks. Sakas saw the giants of life climbing and falling. I saw it falling and climbing again. I was alone in all those memories of mine, as I am alone now when I go to Jaisalmer.

but, ok. Now this is my last solo trip. Now I move forward with priority in life. Stay disciplined. He likes to go to every place, likes to see. Sometimes I have lost my phone, sometimes I have lost my money and my passport because of this fakir. Along with that, I have also lost my hopes and dreams.

One thought - I will not lose anymore. I won't get lost anywhere. In Nidhi's face I saw all those calm faces, who have to study, work, live a settled life, walk in the same rhythm and path without getting lost. On the other hand, there are those travelers, who always want to hang around. Who needs 'adventure' in life. 'Excitement' is needed. I see my own face in such fakirs. I can't stand still and be pond water all my life. I'm drifting.

Kangana Ranaut's film came in 2014 - 'Queen'. This film inspired many women to travel alone, explore the world, love themselves. Then most of the women I met during my travels were 'solo travellers'. When I see women among solo travellers, I find my own reflection in their bright smiles, unwavering confidence.

It was dusk outside the train and night was falling. Only his own tired face could be seen in the window glass.

• • •

Five years after the arrival of 'Queen', I was on the beach of Semniak, Indonesia. I absolutely love how the sky is filled with the colors it leaves as the sun sets. At that time I am grateful to the entire universe. That sunset was happening in Bali, Indonesia.

It was the third day I came to Bali. The beautiful weather of October 2019 made the city look completely colorful. Some were drowning in the closeness of family, some of boyfriends and girlfriends

Drowning in the embrace. Fakirs like me were basking in the setting sun. Many had cans of 'Corona' beer in their hands. However, no one had an idea of ​​the terrible situation that Corona will cause in the world in 2020.

A recent young woman was looking somewhat sad. He seemed to know that a terrible virus is coming to the world after a few months. She was staring at the sunset. Maybe she broke up and went out alone.

'Hi! You alone?,' I asked. He became jhasang.

'No, I have friends,' she replied hurriedly. And ignoring me it started sinking again with the sunset. I thought - I don't look so bad! Why is this with me?

'Excuse me,' the girl who was drowning with the sunset with that sad face stood before me, I smiled. She said in English, 'Especially I am alone. This is my first solo trip so I lied to you. I'm sorry.' I laughed and said 'it's ok'. She was 24-year-old Catherine from Canada. She grew up in a normal family. Listening to him always felt like I was reading a movie script. She was telling her story, 'When I was young, my parents got divorced. There were only fights. In a way, it was okay. Why force the relationship? Where is it easy to understand others until we understand ourselves?'

Listening to him, I felt that we are able to easily tell sad stories with people we never meet or know. Why do they never listen to us?

I like to explore many things in life. I want to travel,' Catherine's eyes sparkled while talking about travel. Someone had told him, 'I will go somewhere alone once in my life, I will travel. It shows how wide the world is. Learns to find positive and negative things. The most important thing is what we are for ourselves, how we handle ourselves by getting out of our comfort zone.'

•

• • Before arriving in Bali, I was enjoying Singapore. While strolling through the colorful and glittering city of 'Marina Bay', she met another traveler - Tabassum from Mumbai, India. She came to visit Singapore alone. Although she was in Singapore, her mind was in Mumbai—with her boyfriend. Her lover is a Hindu, he is a Muslim. Hindu-Muslim conflict continues to rage in India. Society opposes their love. Religion considers their love as a sin.

'If he had dared, we could have been together. In the end, he used religion as an excuse,' she said in a whisper. I kept listening to him silently. Maybe if her lover wanted, they would have been together. But being with someone by crying and crying is like chaining a dead body to yourself. She said crying, 'This time there was a big fight. I could not stay at home. And find a visa-free country and leave with a backpack.' Where do you go when you have a broken heart like me? Blessed is Pashupatinath. And if it's a little more expensive, it's also close to India, and affordable. You can also go by car. After all, it is abroad.

'Sometimes it's good to get away from that place, isn't it?,' she was asking. I was not the victim of the same pain. But still I was trying to listen to him. She was addicted to social media, posting stories on Instagram. But, whether the boyfriend saw it or not, his attention was fixed on this.

Love makes people so weak? Does love make you sad? Why do we need love from others in life? Do we always need attention in love?

Maybe people want to disappear to seek attention. He just wants to disappear so that someone will find him - where is he? what are you doing Or mean it. May he be tormented by his pain, may he be torn by separation. However, our ego does not allow us to say that. Whoever goes anywhere, whoever does whatever - we are not interested. He who goes, let him go. He who does not speak to you, do not speak to him.

Tabassum's love affair ended due to society and religion. This wound of Tabassum may have healed with time. She wandered abroad for a few weeks. Are traveling and wandering different? He sometimes cried, sometimes laughed, sometimes Posting

alone. Changing your display picture. Keep posting Arijit Singh songs on status. However, no matter where he wandered, his lover did not search for him. In the end, he gave up on his own love and declared, 'I can never love anyone again.'

•

•

• I felt like I was in a temple in India. The Gayatri Mantra was being chanted loudly in the Batu Cave complex in Malaysia. All around Indians are Indian hotels, pooja material shops. All traders are from South India. Without these Indians, there would be no country. After seeing Indians everywhere, a friend said, "I came to Canada and said English would be good. I have become perfect in Hindi and Punjabi." Now I should take the Hindi test instead of the IELTS.' I pulled a chair and sat down. The Indian brother of the shop asked, 'You from North East India?' 'No, I am from Nepal.' Patriotism flowed in the heart.

‘O ... o ... Mount Everest, right?’ I laughed.

Fortunately, Nepal has Mount Everest and can be used to identify the country. What would we be known for if there was no Mount Everest? A country of workers? A country of corrupt leaders? If Gautama Buddha was alive, he would probably have gone to America or Australia to hide after seeing the state of the country. Well!

'Wow Mount Everett. Have you been to Mount Everest?,' asked a foreign girl sitting next to my table. And without getting an answer, she introduced herself, 'Hi, Nora from Morocco.'

Somehow Nora said, 'I want to go to Everest base camp in Nepal.'

She was happy to see me, I don't know why. However, when he heard that I had come alone from Nepal, his face was brighter than mine. I also invited him to come to Nepal. He said, 'Everest Base Camp is on my bucket list.'

'and wandering alone? Will you come to Nepal alone?', he took a long breath and said, 'Recently going through a heartbreak.' Don't let

! Not again! Not again! My mind was not ready to hear yet another breakup story.

She went on to tell about herself, "It was me and my ex's plan to come to Nepal, but now we are separated."

'Who gave up?,' I asked bluntly. 'He liked someone else,' she stopped and said, 'Now I don't love anyone. But, I will definitely go to Everest base camp.'

I fell silent. I didn't say anything. There was a long silence between Nora and me. Breaking the silence that followed, I said to Nora, 'May all your bucket lists be fulfilled. Good luck.'

As the world expands, people are becoming more and more alone. Faith is born of love. Tabsum and Nora were probably teaching me that.

In 2020, the Corona epidemic spread around the world. I don't know if Nora came to Nepal and fulfilled her bucket list. If she had come to Nepal, she must have remembered me once. Remembering my good wishes, she must have stepped towards EBC. It was not that much of a problem to know. But some things, some memories, some memories and some characters are only for that certain time. How many times I remember - maybe Nora has learned to love again?

•

•

•

I had a 12-hour transit in Malaysia. Across the lounge from where I was sitting, an Arabian guy was chatting on the phone for a long time. Some time ago, the KL International Airport, which was deserted, started to hear the singing of many Nepalis. I rolled my eyes and looked around the airport. Oh how many Nepali brothers!

An Arabian boy looked at me and asked, 'You work in Malaysia?' I looked at him. My eyes were tired, tired. Ghazal was stuck in the eyes. He raised his eyebrows and said, 'You look tired.' I didn't say anything. He widened his eyes again, shook his head and asked, 'You want coffee?' •

•

•

'Brother, give me a coffee.'

The tea-coffee sellers in Lilan Express keep going back and forth. It is 3 in the morning. It's raining outside. I was amazed to see rain even in the desert. Rajasthan is a desert. Two more hours to reach Jaisalmer station. Seeing this girl's courage and determination, I felt that she would surely be a great female lawyer in the future. The hard work done by giving up all the colors of life should not be wasted. I prayed for Nidhi heartily. The train stopped at the platform at 5 p.m. Everyone started taking out their bags. Nidhi had gone out. I smiled at him and got into my rickshaw with a final wave. Arrived at my hostel Abu Safari. The rain was falling steadily. Lying on the bed with my backpack, fast asleep. When I woke up at 10 am, there was no electricity or water in the hotel. I angrily went to the counter. A pretty girl asked, "Anything you want?" It was also foreign. I asked, 'Where are you from?' 'I have been living here for two months,' she said in English, 'I volunteer here. What if the people here do not know how to use digital media and Instagram a little? I will teach you.'

I laughed, 'And you live for free? They also give money?'

'Of course they pay. And I'm Traveling To. Digital Nomad OK,” he chuckled. Arranged my coffee and breakfast. We climbed up to the roof. He started smoking marijuana. Sodhi, 'You smoke?' For the first time in my life, someone offered me marijuana. I had read a lot that fakirs were told that the smoke of ganja makes them understand the essence of life. But, I don't like the smell of marijuana. I accepted his offer. The city was beautiful from the roof. This is not what the Golden City of Rajasthan says. The walls of all the houses here are painted with golden color. He pointed the cigarette at me again and said, 'One puff please.' I didn't take a drag.

'Man, can you live without marijuana? They Are My Life. I can't even imagine my life without marijuana. No... never. I always have it in my bag,' she showed two pouches like gundruk from her pocket. "You had a breakup, didn't you?" I asked casually. He's a tough angel.

'How did you know? Did you gas? don't say A kind of,' and took another puff. Every now and then she was enthusiastic about the fact that we both had curly hair. And I was afraid - maybe it's a lesbian?

'You also stay here?,' she asked.

I was shocked by his question, 'What?'

'No, no, volunteer. Just Paid Volunteer. Let's sit together.'Now I left with the plan for the day—to the mansion, 'Ok, I'll think about it.'

As I was heading towards thar desert, the dramatic para was crying hysterically, 'Don't walk the Indo-Pak border with us.' After saying 'next time' she hugged me again in shock.

Finally, in the evening, the sunset was seen from the Thar desert in Rajasthan. They are seen from different places in the world - from Narayani Bridge, from Chobhar in Kathmandu, from Tanha A Lot in Indonesia, from Manhattan in America...! Some are on the beach, some are on the banks of the river, some are in the desert, some are watching the sunset from the plains and mountain ridges.

It is on the sand of the desert - Sunny Deval, Akshay Khanna, Sunil Sethi ran screaming and singing the song 'Sandesh Aate Hai...'. In 'Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam', Salman and Aishwarya broke up saying 'Tadap Tadapke Is Dil Se...' and fell on this sand day and night. At that time I thought - what will this place be like? Where will it be? How far?

I was standing on that sand now.

The series of sunrises and sunsets has been going on for thousands of years. Even if we don't want to see it, the sun sets, the day falls, the evening falls, the night comes. Time goes on forever. Love, love, breakups and even travel have been going on for thousands of years. They keep going even without us. Time running at

speed has brought me to this desert today. Even far from Jaisalmer, my eyes watered every now and then while watching the sunset over the Thar desert. As fine sand particles entered the eyes, it was as if the breath was stuck. Neither Nora nor Tabassum nor Nidhi was by my side. I had no relatives, no friends. No break up, no patch up. I was alone. I slapped him on the shoulder and said, 'I'm proud of you man.'

The sun was about to set. All stood facing the camera. When the sun sets somewhere, the sun rises somewhere. That's why they say - 'Ending is the new beginning.'

The next day at 12 pm I was to return to Jaipur by Lilan Express. As I sat alone at Jaisalmer station for three hours, many people came to speak. The railway station is a bit safer than before. The 24-hour hotline number was displayed on the large numbers. If you felt unsafe, you could have called immediately. Traveling alone brings problems, but I was going back with sweet memories of Jaisalmer.

The train came at 12 midnight. Looking for berth number 44B, I entered. Stuff stuff under the seat. After some time, the train started moving slowly. I went to the upper berth and lay down. 5 GB data is activated on the mobile. Open Instagram. My favorite English song played on the reels–

When You Miss the Train I'm On

You'll Know That I'm Gone

You Can Hear the Whistle Blow

100 Miles.

100 miles. 100 miles.