Kathmandu Post


Date | Tuesday, Aug 4, 2015     Login | Register

heads and tales

  • Leader of all leaders

FEB 08 - Our caretaker government is more than eager to sell off the Nepal Mission’s property in the United Kingdom. No, it’s not because of Colonel Lama. The British court is different from ours. Even the British Prime Minister or the Queen herself can’t just call up the justices and threaten them. Here, in this land of ours, the courts are only for common citizens whereas the political cadres still walk around freely even after being convicted of murder.

The maintenance works for the run down Nepali Mission in the UK cost somewhere around 2 million pounds but if they sell it, then it will fetch 300 to 500 million pounds rey. I guess we really don’t have to scratch our heads and try to figure out why our buffoons want to sell off the property.

After all, our netas will even wake up from their coma if somebody tells them that they will make millions from commissions and kickbacks. And maybe the main reason why our government isn’t forming the Truth and Reconciliation Commission is because there are no commissions to be made.  

Our caretaker government wastes millions of rupees reimbursing our ministers for their personal visits across the country and overseas but don’t have a penny to carry out the maintenance of Nepali Missions around the world. Somebody should tell our diplomats that they should stop their ‘towel on the chair’ nataks once they leave the country. One can use hand sanitising wipes instead.

I think our NRNs in the UK should conduct a fundraising drive and help repair the Embassy there. The Embassy is in a prime location and the rent is peanuts. If we sell off the property then our ambassador and his staff will have to move to the highlands, pitch a tent, and then they can use all the towels they want because our government will not be able to afford the rent in London.

It would be great if the government sells off the property and uses the funds to help the poor and the needy. But that is not going to happen and we must do all we can to prevent our buffoons from fattening their bank accounts. Maybe our brothers and sisters in London should storm the embassy and occupy the building. They can buy home repair tools at the local supermarket and start maintenance work right away as well.

Dr Saheb spoke for two hours at the convention. He praised our Emperor and called him ‘leader of all leaders’. But our PhD wallah does not want the Emperor to act like a dictator. I guess Dr Saheb wants him to share a little bit more instead of just keeping the money and muscles to himself.

The Nepali Napoleon had to outdo Dr Saheb. He spoke for four hours and promised his courtiers that he would be politically active only for another decade.

The old fogies of the Chinese Communist Party spend their retirement days swimming, drinking tea and practicing their calligraphy skills. But, of course, our comrades have nothing in common with the Chinese communists. It’s like Rajnikanth fans opening a fan club for Rajni and then religiously watching Kamal Haasan’s movies instead. Most of our clowns either went to school in India or hid there until the time was right to come back and sit on the kurchi. How come we haven’t had any ‘Gandhi’ party yet? When will we get our Laloo Prasad Yadav?

So what would our Emperor do after he quits politics? He could make some dough by going on a world tour as a Stalin look-alike. If that doesn’t work out, then he could just open another communist party and have only his face on the poster instead of the usual MLSM (Marx-Lenin-Stalin-Mao) gang.

Our comrades are a funny lot. They come up with something new every other week. The Emperor now wants the Chief Justice to lead the national consensus government. As usual, the opposition wallahs are not happy and are still desperate to lead the national looting team. They do not want a Madhesi or a civil society leader or the Chief Justice. I guess they would not want a movie star either.  

It’s very hard to believe that in this land of millions of hardworking people, there is not even a single person that our clowns can agree on to lead the national unity government.

As they say, “a woman chooses the man,” but in our hawa-tari politics, it’s the Desi who chooses our Prime Monster. So, instead of making our lives miserable by organising rallies across the country, our clowns should head to Delhi and put on a show for Sonia madame. If she is busy, then the Desi Ambassador here can just organise a laughter challenge for our clowns and choose the person who can come up with the most outrageous joke as the leader. I hope someday, we all realise that the joke is on us and we have been played by our leader of all leaders.

Guffadi blogs at guffadi.blogspot.com and can be contacted at maguffadi@gmail.com

Posted on: 2013-02-09 09:29

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