Kathmandu Post

Editorial»

Marriage and tradition

DEC 10 -
With the month of Poush kicking in, the auspicious dates of marriage are upon us again. Many households are busy setting up elaborate preparations, while invitees get ready to be deluged with food and the company of kith and kin. The season has us anticipate times of joy and plenty—it comes in like a regular visitor every year and leaves, reminding us of tradition and the comfort taken in making new alliances. Marriage invokes different emotions within different people—those officiated to be married are held in deep anticipation while match-makers turn into scrutinising hawks,

spotting prospective candidates for the not-yet-marrieds that they know. Youngsters, on the other hand, encounter surprising overtures—interested looks and hopeful glances, beckoning them to the inevitable. Such is the story in many cultures, where the old and the young negotiate their happiness within the millennia-old social contract of marriage. 

Different cultures and civilisations have always found ways to preserve themselves through marriage. By ensuring marriage within the caste and ethnicity, cultures reinforce their authenticity and families rest with the knowledge of familiarity in its new relations. Apart from preserving culture, economic concerns become another factor that play into the strategy of marriage. The presence or absence of agricultural land and other forms of capital such as dowry, plays a huge role in determining the time and prospect of one’s marriage in rural Nepal. This dual criterion of cultural and economic background among

others (there is physical criteria too in this day and age of cyber match-making), results in most marriages taking place within a single ethnicity and socio-economic strata. Such marriages make the older generations happy, but one has to come to realise that Nepali society today is becoming increasingly mobile—physically as well as along class hierarchies. When it comes to physical mobility, one must consider the increasing phenomenon of migration within and outside of the country. Rural Nepalis leave their villages for labour-intensive jobs in the Capital and beyond, whereas urban Nepalis are increasingly gaining employment opportunities in countries abroad. This changes the dynamics of the traditional route to marriage, for youngsters are increasingly experience worlds beyond the ones they are born into. Pre-marital experiences organised outside of the family do not heed the traditional mindset of courting only members of the same caste or even the socio-economic strata. As a result, relations are forged across domestic social barriers by migrants.

Already, one can see several instances of inter-caste and inter-class marriages. As with most communities in Nepal, the Tamang community for instance, has succumbed to the forces of migration the most. The monetisation of human labour has drawn this community outside of remote regions without roads and amenities. In the cities, they work to accumulate wealth and climb the social ladder. Similarly, urban Nepalis who socialise across ethnicities in schools and the workplace are getting married across castes, resulting in colourful celebrations that accommodate the traditions of both bride and groom. Marriage within in the caste is thus not the only option. Mobility has lead people to intermingle, and marriage ought to conform to such change.

Posted on: 2011-12-11 09:12

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