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Who’s my mother?
AUG 28 -
Almost six years ago in Anand, a western city of Gujarat, India, I and Bimla bahen— a locally common phrase for female domestic helpers—had some interesting moments together. She was not only a helper but my Gujarati language teacher as well. Once during a casual conversation, I remember, she talked about the growing number of pregnant surrogate mothers in Anand who were conceiving babies on behalf of overseas couples. I didn’t take the issue seriously then. However, earlier this week, as I was waiting for a doctor in one of the nursing homes in town, I overheard the conversation between two middle-aged women about the growing demand for Nepali surrogate mothers.
My curiosity to know more about the issue immediately urged me to call a few gynecologist friends of mine. I learnt from them that there really is a growing demand of Nepali women for surrogacy. These days such demands are openly posted on various promotional websites. “I and my colleagues at the in-vitro fertilization (IVF) center are receiving various inquires from married and working women about the availability of surrogate mothers. Intending parents are normally either infertile or the intending mother is at the risk through pregnancy due to certain medical and/or physical deficiencies. The number of such women who strongly want their biological child without jeopardising their career and figure is also growing,” said a doctor under the condition of anonymity.
On probing further, she said, “Doctors at IVF clinic basically encourage working women to conceive their own babies if they are medically fit as it is very crucial to have the bonding between child and mother during pregnancy. However, for infertile couples, clinics help in finding surrogate mothers and sorting out other issues like medical examination for HIV/AIDS and other ailments.” She was of the opinion that Nepal may soon become a leading surrogacy destination due to rampant poverty and marginalisation of women.
Some women choose to become surrogate mothers just to satisfy their quirky material instincts while others, basically those from economically distressed backgrounds, rent wombs out of desperation to meet various costs related to sustaining their families such as children’s education, home improvement, investments, etc. Evidence from abroad suggest that some women—particularly those who value parenthood highly—accept surrogacy simply to help those couples who otherwise could not have children of their own.
I came across a recent case of Reema (name changed) who hailed from neighboring Kavre district. Reema agreed to rent out her womb to a British couple for Rs. 500,000. It was quite a big amount for her but the sum was just a fraction of what the British couple would pay back home for a service of comparable nature. Being an illiterate woman, she had a strong desire to send her three daughters to an English-medium school for better education. A couple of years ago when she was abused and cheated on by her husband, she left Kavre to live in a friend’s place in Kathmandu. Yet again, she was sexually assaulted and became pregnant to her friend’s spouse and was ultimately evicted from the friend’s shelter to be left on her own. Lately, with the support of a local organisation, she has started operating a tea stall in the vicinity of Gongabu Bus Park.
As I think hard about the issue of surrogacy, a string of questions arise in my head. Isn’t the practice of surrogacy encouraging child rights violations early on? There is no denying that a baby’s nurturing and bonding with his/her gestational mother is crucial during early stages of child development. Medical science emphasises the importance of not separating an infant from surrogate mother at least for the first few months. However, a child’s right to breastfeeding and bonding in most cases are denied by the commissioning parents.
What if the surrogate mothers change their minds and want to keep the baby with them? Surrogate mothers have a nine-month long intimate and emotionally-rich relationship with the child which could obviously lead to development of deep attachment. How can a contract or family law deal with the complex emotional relationship among the three parties, i.e., the intending parents, surrogate mother and the baby, ensuring that the rights of none is jeopardised? Clearly, the contractual clauses—no matter how explicit and elaborate—are never adequate to deal with the emotional part in surrogacy, as it is much more than buying and selling of commodities.
Having signed the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC) in 1990, Nepal celebrated the 20th anniversary of CRC on Nov. 20, 2009 with the usual annual extravaganza. Yet the present legislation does not fully ensure protection of child rights before and after birth. The constitution drafting process offers enormous opportunities to incorporate child rights therein.
Feminists have long fought for women’s uncontrolled rights to reproductive health and choices. But with regards to surrogacy, there exist two different schools of thought even among feminists. One argues that it is merely fueling a commercial venture while completely sidelining ethical and right issues. This group vouches for adoption rather than any sort of genetic manipulation. They believe that surrogacy reinforces the patriarchal notion and helps medical professionals to exploit economically poor women by encouraging women to rent out their wombs, thereby pushing them towards a form of slavery or prostitution. Others argue that it has opened avenues for reproductive choices for those women who are unable to have their own children and are bound to face various forms of hatred in patriarchal societies.
Thanks to rapid advances in medical science, the coming generation may have to add prefixes while summoning their mothers. For instance, a woman who supplied her egg for the embryo would be the baby’s genetic mother. Another woman who carries the embryo to term and gives birth would be the gestational or birth mother. The third woman who nurtures and raises the child after birth would be the nurturing mother. It should be no wonder if some day the gen-next baby cries out loud: Who is my mother?
(The author is a development professional)
upadhyay_b@yahoo.com
Posted on: 2010-08-29 08:45
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