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Killing for love
AUG 10 -
The Nepali news media in the last couple of weeks has been filled with reports of murder which occurred in different parts of the country. They occurred in different contexts, but they were all of a similar nature from the point of motive. The increase in such incidents of late reflects a poor social security system, widespread impunity and transition of our society from orthodox to more open and liberal in terms of romantic relationships. They also indicate how far a love affair can go crossing all social, human and legal boundaries up to the extent of a heinous crime.
First, the brutal murder of two PLA combatants at Sainamaina Satellite Camp under the Krishna Sen Memorial Brigade. An initial investigation revealed that Samjhana Chhetri, wife of Chandra Bahadur Bohara (one of the deceased) was having an affair with Madhav Ghimire (the main accused in the murder). In another heinous crime, Anju Phunyal was killed by strangulation by her so-called husband Saroj Phunyal during their honeymoon in Pokhara.
In another similar event, a preliminary report suggested that the wife of a restaurateur helped in the murder of her husband. Sita (wife of the deceased) had been having an affair with Yam for the past couple of years. Yam is still at large and the police suspect he had a hand in the crime. There are many such examples, but the motive behind this article is to explore why they happen and how to prevent them.
The whys and wherefores
Addiction to love and romantic affairs or intimate relationships is similar to addiction to psychoactive substances like nicotine, cocaine or alcohol in which activation of the reward pathway occurs in the brain. Recent research including functional magnetic resonance imaging shows exactly similar changes in the brain of a person who has suffered a broken love affair as in a drug addict suffering withdrawal symptoms.
A scientific study of the brains of heartbroken men and women showed that looking at photographs of their former partners activated regions in the brain associated with rewards, addiction craving, control of emotions, feelings of attachment and physical pain and distress. The results provide an insight into why it might be hard for some people to get over a break-up; and why, in some cases, people are driven to extreme behaviour, such as stalking, suicide and homicide, after losing their love.
“Romantic love is an addiction,” said study author Helen E. Fisher, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University who studies love. “It’s a very powerfully wonderful addiction when things are going well, and a perfectly horrible addiction when things are going poorly,” she said.
When one is in love or a romantic relationship, regions in the brain called the vental tegmental area, nucleus accumbens and orbitofrontal/prefrontal cortex also get activated. These regions are known to be associated with substance addiction. When a person is satisfied with a drug or in a satisfactory love relationship, a neurotransmitter called dopamine is released from the brain which gives pleasure and satisfaction. When a person is not using dependent drugs or is yearning for his/her loved one, no dopamine will be released. Such a person will have a craving for drugs or romantic love and exhibit symptoms like dysphoria, irritability, restlessness, frustration and despair. Also, rejection of a romantic relationship causes the neurotransmitter dopamine to wash over the brain, triggering feelings of frenzied desperation that can lead to behaviour such as stalking, homicide and suicide.
In drug addiction, people in withdrawal craves it to such an extent that they do not hesitate to do anything including selling personal items or committing crimes including murder to get the substance. They do not bother
about the consequences, and the only thing they can think of is the drug for that time. Likewise, due to similar changes
in the brain, lovelorn
people will do anything to continue their romantic relationship.
Prevention
To prevent such incidents, every responsible citizen has a role to play. Choosing one’s partner is an individual’s right, and unnecessary hurdles should not be created in the name of social status, religion, race, caste or creed. Similarly, the government should boost the overall security situation so that everyone can feel secure and criminals cannot execute their plans that easily, unlike the present situation in Nepal. Impunity should be ended, and notorious criminals should be strictly kept behind bars by enhancing the judicial system. The government should also ease the legal procedure to end long-term unhappy relationships and boost the social security system. Society should treat single, separated or divorced people as just another member of society and not be biased against them or stigmatise them. In terms of relationship, society should be open and protect people’s freedom, right to choose their partners and live their lives the way they want to.
A person who has been rejected in a romantic relationship, suffered a break-up or is in an unhappy marriage should consult a psychiatrist or psychotherapist and get the necessary medication and counselling. Persons who have been rejected or broken up should be treated in the same way as a drug addict by providing love, empathy, support and encouragement. At times, such problems
could lead to other psychiatric problems like depression, anxiety, adjustment disorders, insomnia and suicidal ideas. These should be treated in time to prevent further damage.
Family members should be supportive and help such people to cope and
ease their pain and craving. They should not be blamed but helped to get rid
of their problem and regain their normal life to be responsible members of their family and society.
[The author is an MD (psychiatry) and lecturer at Kist Medical College, Lalitpur]
Posted on: 2010-08-11 07:53
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