Oped»
Closing the gap
FEB 04 -
I was raised in America, a country which prides itself on equality between the sexes, or at least the outward attempt of it. Rights for women has been mentioned to me from an early age by my mother, an elementary school principal who has her Masters and has survived breast cancer. The freedoms and privileges that are to be afforded women in America cover things such as education, voting, workplace equalities in payment and position, sexual harassment laws, and the list goes on. I have been taught that just because I was born a female does not mean that I cannot conquer the world or fly to the moon, or at least receive the same amount of money as a man at my job. Being a woman and living in a country such as Nepal has threatened to topple my personal ideals and has made me question America’s and my own understanding of gender equality.
One of the greatest things about being in another country is the cultural exchange between two groups of people, and to experience that ‘give and take’ with another cultural group. As a woman in Kathmandu that gender position is difficult — women carry the bags, they walk two steps behind the men, they cook and clean and tackle the child rearing and additionally they even have jobs. I have seen women work alongside men in construction sites and those same women go home and cook for two hours to feed their families. I have watched with amazement and admiration as enormously pregnant women expertly lift large bundles of washing. Who else would do the washing if they didn’t?
As an American girl growing up, I was taught all about feminist ideals (Women’s lib, Susan B. Anthony and the Suffragettes), how women can get to be the president someday (can they really, Hillary Clinton?) and how you don’t have to stay at home barefoot and pregnant and do all the domestic tasks. But my question is, is there anything wrong with this typically Nepali way of life? My American prejudices had overtaken the realities of Nepal. As an American I would have the tendency to view this way of life as backwards and unprogressive. Nonetheless, I would argue that all the work these Nepali women do is empowering, inspiring, and simultaneously progressive, despite what I may have been taught. Women in Nepal are able to work, (though mostly for necessity), to raise children, and keep their households and families together. It’s admirable that they do everything, yet despite that they are considered second-class citizens. Women here have a shorter life expectancy than men, a much lower literacy rate, and they are expected to take care of the family of their husband. And in regard to children, if you give birth to a girl you try and try again for a son. However, there is still an acknowledgment of the work that a Nepali woman does; a family and a household would fall apart without the matriarch.
With a multitude of organisations focused on the rights of Nepali women, I do understand and agree that there is work to be done here in regard to gender equality. But part of that work could be simply thought of and viewed as an attitude change. Before I moved to Kathmandu I thought of my position of a women in the world as inferior. Now I have tried to reevaluate and embrace my gender and situation and have realised how superior my position really is, no matter if I am American or Nepali. I am able to take care of myself, to sew, to cook, to think, to command attention, to keep my home together. Women all over the world do suffer hardships and injustices, but they also hold a great amount of power that is unrecognised. If this power of women was recognised and acknowledged here in Nepal, the gap between genders could be closed a little. And if that gap closed and there could be a simple shifting of respect towards the women of Nepal, the road to equality will already be paved and stone free.
(Hannah G. Lilly is an American in Kathmandu)
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