Editorial»
The desire to trade places
DEC 16 - The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence.
This dissonance and conflict troubles most of us, in our everyday lives, in one or the other way. Now, let us take a small instance.
There is this little girl in our neighbourhood whose mother was telling me as to how she loved wearing make up, especially lipstick. She would quarrel with her mother saying “ you are big, so you can do whatever you feel like. You wear a lot of make up and so you look smart. Look at me, I am as wretched and ordinary as anyone could ever be.” Thus, unsatisfied with herself, she would fight with her mother until she agreed to her demand.
Then there is this boy who was telling me about his girlfriends whom he likes to call, “ the beautiful babes”. When I asked him as to why he called them that, he innocently said “that’s what the big guys call their girlfriends. Well, I guess that’s the official way to address one’s girlfriend nowadays” was his comment. He was telling me as to how he would steal his elder brother’s hair gel and make spikes out of his front locks, above his forehead, to look “cool” and trendy. Well, I don’t know how “cool” he looked, but it certainly did remind me of a guy in an advertisement whose tresses had gone straight up due to a devastating electric shock. Still, I nodded in affirmation that he really looked cool and stylish, so that he would give me further details of his tete-a-tete with his “babes”. He was telling me that he had been scolded many times by his teacher because of his “freezing” hairstyle but he was ready to take all that pain to remain popular.
The girls are no exception. Their whimsical brain makes them do things, which would look quite interesting to the adults. I remember, when I was a little child, I had set my heart upon applying nail polish in my tiny fingers during one of my aunt’s wedding. I used to be very jealous with the adult females in the house who were enjoying themselves to the fullest extent, decorating themselves with everything available in the market. But when I expressed my heart’s dearest desire, it was thwarted underfoot for the stupid reason that I was just a little kid. I pleaded for quite a while and finally my petition was accepted but only with a promise that I wouldn’t be allowed to keep long nails. I still remember how I had wanted to exchange my shoe with an adult person that particular day.
At school, when I used to see how the senior students enjoyed authority, again I used to be intrigued by it all. There always was a seething desire at the core to be older and wiser, to know all and to be all, like the elder people. Every kid wants to be wise and impressive, logical and smart, fashionable and charming like the elders in their family. On many occasions, one can see them copying their elders as well. For example, most of us have seen little boys with little cuts and bruises on their faces, a direct result of an attempt to shave of their “not yet grown” beard and moustaches.
But, as one grows up, the thoughts take just the reverse path as the responsibilities, the duties and the burdens all grow with us. From the protective arms of our parents, we land up in a world that is much more complex and difficult than applying make up, or enjoying the fruits of seniority or shaving off our vulnerable skin. Then again, the dissonance kindles in our minds. We want to be careless and carefree like a small kid. We envy his jovial life, without worries, difficulties, hardships, responsibilities and harsh realities. We don’t want to face the difficulties or carry the burden of our responsibilities. But now, things aren’t the same. One cannot get things done, as he wants, merely by appealing or crying for it. Now the annoyances are more painful, for we cannot complain about it. Then we wish our feet were smaller enough to fit into our childhood shoes.Posted on: 2003-12-16 03:31
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