E-Kantipur

The early morning sun washes over me as I water my blooming, pink Azalea plant and the smell of coffee wafts in from the kitchen. I feel so blessed with the continuous sunshine here in Nepal that it makes everyday a gift. It gives me a reason to wake up in the morning. I never was a morning person before moving here, but the gloriousness of waking with the birds and the sun has altered my previous habits. I have begun to appreciate the mornings as well as the hold I have over the rest of my day. I try to chronicle these gifts of mornings and days by journaling, a habit encouraged by self-help author Robin Sharma. Sharma cites five ‘Morning Questions’ in which to answer at the start of the day in one’s journal. ‘How would I live out this day if I knew it was my last’ is the first ‘Morning Question’ Sharma asks in his book, The Saint, the Surfer and the CEO. This simple yet important question forces me ask myself, would I be living differently? Furthermore, would I regret any of my past choices?

I think of this question as I look down on the street from my roof and wave to some of the children going off to school. How would I live today if I knew it was my last? This question confronts me with the idea of death, a thought that I try to avoid thinking about on a daily basis. But without thinking about dying, living becomes obsolete. Most of us do not know which day will be our last, but if we did, we would live without worry or regret. Many people live as if on autopilot, living our lives in a haze, planning much of our ‘living’ for after we retire or in our later years. We want to wait until we have more time, more money and fewer responsibilities. With both eyes to the future, how can we keep an eye on the present? Our lives are happening now. This is not a rehearsal or a practice run for the future, this is it. If we do not live life to the fullest now, when will we?

We have power over how we live our lives. We do not know what the future holds but we hold this present moment in the palm of our hands. We alone decide what to do with it. I used to wonder when my ‘real life’ would start, when I would start to feel like an adult and when I would begin to be satisfied. When I came to Nepal I realised this is it, I was living, I was an adult. I realised that satisfaction with my life will come when I started living in the here and now. If I continually worried about which direction my life was going, I would never make it across the street. This was the life I was so anxious to begin, and I wanted to experience the beauty of it before it was ending.

I haven’t ridden a horse through Casa Blanca, or been in the rainforests of South America yet, but I have begun to take responsibility for my own life choices and my life path up until now. Things don’t happen to me, I have made things happen for myself. I try to savour every part of the day and react positively to what each day brings. This keeps me in the present moment. Staying present allows me to appreciate the small things in life. And what are the big things in life, if not made up of all those wonderful small things?

Life is unpredictable, one never knows if this day will be the last. If we knew it was our last, many of us would try to rush around the world saying goodbye to everyone we loved. Instead, we should make sure all the people we love know we love them every single day. We should be as present as possible in the place where we are, as we can only live in one place at one time. We should react with gratitude towards the universe for whatever it brings, accepting the challenge, the learning experience, the pleasure and the pain. This is not the dress rehearsal for our grand performance of life; this is the one and only performance of it. Try to live each and every day as if it could be your last, not regretting anything and not leaving anything to chance. As Sharma says, “it’s pretty incredible to know that every new day brings with it the opportunity to begin a whole new life.”

(Lilly is ‘An American in Kathmandu’)

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