E-Kantipur

From my previous article I have received criticism, provoking further thought on my part on the topic of women’s positions in Nepal and America (“Closing the gap,” Feb. 5, Page 7). I would like to take this opportunity to go more in depth to clear up several points. As an American female, I was taught by my society that cleaning, cooking, child rearing wasn’t the only thing I was striving for in my life, nor was it progressive. It was important, but not the only thing in a women’s life. Nonetheless, I have seen here in Nepal that it can be progressive, it is empowering and it can be rewarding to do all these things. Additionally it can make an individual feel full of self-worth, and is imperative to keep a family together.   

I am not saying you should admire all the societal conditions in which Nepali women must do this work. And as an American, I cannot fully comprehend all these conditions in which Nepali women live. But I do believe that there could be a further ‘closing of the gap’ between genders and that it wouldn’t hurt men to pick up a broom once in a while. But apparently Nepali men are doing more domestic work around the house and helping their wives with chores. Even so, Nepal does stay together because of the women, and all the work that women do for the country. That is what we should give nod to.

Why is it a bad thing though, that women can be self-sufficient with all the work at home and outside that they do? Don’t forget the fact that many Nepali women go out into the work force as well, and some are also lucky enough to receive a higher education. These Nepali women are strong and can do it for themselves and they do not get enough credit or respect. This is what I am saying, that we do not recognise how hard these women work. And from my Western perspective I would perhaps have been dissatisfied previously, but the longer I stay in Nepal the more I appreciate all that women do, and what they do deserves as much respect as a woman CEO of a bank.

I am admitting that my personal attitude has changed about women’s positions here and in America. I used to think that as a woman, I had to strive to be all these other things other than just a cooking and cleaning machine. I still do have other goals, but these things are important and deserve more respect than I had ever realised. Coming to this realisation has made me more comfortable in my position as a powerful woman. Watching women here squatting with their children wrapped to their backs, while washing dishes that they have just finished feeding their families with, I cannot but admire them. I am asking the people of Nepal to acknowledge the work of their women, and the power that women hold. The country would fall apart were it not for its women. Nepali women hold the power, the quiet power that can rule a society with little warning.

In Nepal, as it is a different country and another culture, gender equality has a different definition and cannot be compared to the definition we give it in America. Gender equality cannot translate from America to Nepal unchanged. In Nepal, we have a good foundation for the start of gender equality. To this foundation we need to add societal respect and understanding. There is still work to be done here in Nepal (and in America for that matter) with regard to gender equality. Or I like to think of it as gender balance. Instead of demanding equality, we should be looking for the scales to be balanced in favour of both sexes, without it tipping over to one side. There is a lot more power and progressive thinking in Nepal than many people believe. There is no reason that Nepali women, their strength evident in their work habits and ethics, cannot hold strong positions in society as well.

(The author is an American in Kathmandu)

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